Thinking of Delivery Day

Do I sound mean when I say I don't want a lot of people in my room when I am in labor. I want my husband and my sister and if my mom wants to stop by I can handle that. But everyone else will just have to wait until he is out and they can actually see him.

I am watching "One Born Every Minute" and these ladies have all these people in their rooms aggrevating them while they are dealing with labor pains. And let me just say right now , while I am pushing noone will be allowed in. I don't wanna broadcast my privates to everyone.

I want my sister and my husband to see Micah come out, but I also want them to just let me go through labor. These people on this show are annoying the way they are asking every minute if they can do anything. Seriously when you are in that much pain you really just wanna be left alone so you can get through the contractions.

I just really hope people understand I will not be in the mood to have people filling up my room to wait out the delivery. But I will enjoy family and friends coming to the house after we are all settled into a routine, maybe give us a week home alone, to hold him and see him.

Oh and I should mention they should understand my OCD and the handwashing will happen a lot and if you are sick well no touching baby sorry. And yes we are breastfeeding and no I will not be using a bottle right away, so no you cant feed him. And yes I really wanna cloth diaper and no you cant just put a disposable on him because it will be easier for you.

Wow I think I am turning into one of those moms that everyone hates, but I dont care. This could be our only child and my only chance to have my birth and my child my way, so we are doing it our way.

7 WEEKS LEFT!!!

OMG!!!

I have only 7 weeks left to get everything done. I am so nervous and scared that nothing else will get done. I don't even have a carseat yet. YIKES!

I wanna meet my little guy and hold and cuddle him but at the same time I don't wanna stop feeling him move around in my tummy.

We still need lots of cloth diapers, I don't have near enough to start with. I need a dirty diaper bag and a pack and play and a carseat and bedding and ....... I still haven't organized his closet or hung up his clothes, I can barely walk into his closet. And his room is a mess. The carpets need cleaned and there is stuff everywhere.

BREATH!!!!

I know we have plenty and things will get done. I know I can relaxa and let things happen, but at the same time I'm freaking out.

IM FREAKING OUT!!! Seriously people.

7 WEEKS LEFT!!! Thats it!!! 7 WEEKS !!!

Love This Quote

"I like your Christ, I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ.” ~Mahatma Ghandi

Ready To Be A Momma!!

I have 9 weeks to go. Just 9 weeks and I am so excited. I cannot wait to hold my little man and kiss him and hug him. I have his crib set up and some clothes washed, I am waiting to get all the clothes washed so I can seperate them all and hang them up. I want to put all the bigger clothes to the back of the closet so that I will know what is good to wear at what stage. I am thinking I will have a big baby.

I want to get the closet organized and get the dresser fixed up and ready to go. I am getting anxious to get all of this done so that all will be ready when he gets here. I cant believe I have to wait until the beginning of April to have my baby shower. I know you are supposed to wait but I want everything done and ready. I guess all new mommies go through this. If I had a toddler to chase around I wouldnt even have time to pay attention to all the needed to be done.

I am excited to see my neices interact with Micah. I cant wait to see Chaz hold Micah. I just want him here . But I know we must wait to meet him so that he will be totall healthy.

NOPE!!!

I was thinking everything has happened and now it will get easier and things will go my way.

NOPE!!!

My truck broke down on the way to school today. WE are supposed to go to the big baby sale and buy a ton of stuff but now we will be spending that money on my truck.

NOPE!!

Things arent going my way. Can I throw a huge tantrum now and hold my breath until I am given my way?

NOPE!!!

Guess what I am an adult and have to face tough situations and make the best of my world. O well.

At least micah is moving a ton lately and letting me know he is there . I mean it really, last night he would not go to sleep. I mean cmon get comfortable and let momma get a good nights rest. But really I love to feel him move, it lets me know he is still there and still alive.

30 Weeks and Counting

I think things are getting better. I had a few mental breakdowns last weekend and ended up missing a day of work because of it all. I think that everything just hit me at once and I kinda shut down. But I am better now.

I miss grandma Schnepf a ton. I know she was only Shawn's gma, but she was going to be the best great grandma to Micah and I loved , really LOVED, visiting her when we went to Iowa. She was the sweetest person ever. I loved to hear her stories about her life and learning all about her raising her 7 children. She was an amazing woman and man did she love the LORD with all her heart. I feel like I see angels everywhere now. Angels were kinda her thing. I know Micah will be watched carefully by his new guardian angel and that makes it all better.

I still worry about my little brother. I want to take away all of his problems and make everything better. I hate the position he is in. I hate having to only talk to him on the phone. I cry when I see his picture or hear that address go out over the air at work. I cant stand where he is and I want it all to go away.

I have had a rough pregnancy and Im still trudging through it. I failed the one hour glucose test and barely passed the three hour test. Doc says here is still glucose in my urine and now I have some protein in there too. I need to take it easy and watch what goes into my mouth. Apparently everything I eat has tons of sugar in it. :(

So Shawn and I are just trying to get through the next ten weeks so we can finally meet our little guy. I am not real anxious about getting everything anymore, I know things will fall into place and making a list helped a lot.

Word for the day: FAIL!

I had a small mental breakdown today. I think everything going on just caught up with me and I lost it. I was just getting ready for work and I started to cry. No I started to ball and it went on for about an hour. And then continued in the car on the way to work .

I am exhausted. I am tired and feeling a bit overwhelmed. I mean since I have been pregnant I havent had time to stop and enjoy this pregnancy. I wanna enjoy my baby boy and get his room all ready without stress. So much has been going on.

We had to make two fast trips to Iowa for Shawn's grandma. The first was our one weekend off that we had planned to do baby stuff. I mean I am very happy we went, because she that was the last time we would see her alive even if she was just comotose. But that was going to be the relax and plan baby weekend. Then she died on Valentine's Day and we had to make a day trip there on Thursday to bury her. It was a very long day, but once again I am so glad we were able to go. Grandma Schnepf was a very special woman and man did she love her Jesus. I am so glad to know that she is with Jesus everyday now and she will be a great guardian angel to Micah.

I think we have just been going like the engizer bunny since the last week in Jan and I am due for a small break. No more deaths or family situations pls. No more mean people and drama mixed with problems PLS. I want a break .

I am in need of some dedicated baby planning and baby talking time. I want to get Micah's room finished and buy the stuff we still need. I want it to be about me and Micah now. I want someone to focus on me. I want to not hear about or worry about anyone else but Micah for a while. I want life to slow down and please , pretty please, give me a small break.