To b or not to b

Baptize that is.

I want to get baptized but don't want to get baptized.

I can't really explain why or why not just that I am really confused on the whole issue as with other religion related things. I feel that I am truly in awe of HIM and want to follow GOD for the rest of my life, but why should I make a big spectacle of it.

I know that Jeses was baptized and the Bible makes it sound important, but I know I am a new creation and HE knows I am a true believer and new creation, why should I make a show of it.

And then there is the part where someone will take my head and put it into the water. SCARY!!!

I don't know why I feel so confused about certain things... I mean I know what the Bible says about things and that is HIS word. I just don't know why I question so many things and can't do certain things that HE says we should do.

So should I get baptized or not? I think my fiance wants me to be before we are married, which is like a few months away.

Just confused

And the best big brother award goes to ....

CHAZ..

He was so sweet last night ... him, Brijet and I cuddled up in my bed and he read Beemers a bedtime story (which in turn put me right to sleep).

He is so good with the girls most of the time. He will read to them or with them, he will swim with them and play with them. He will carry them or get them food or water (sometimes sneak chips and candy with them).

He truly is a great big brother! Now if we could just keep the girls from touching his stuff he would be an even better big brother.

Tenth Avenue North -- Hold My Heart

How long must I pray
Must I pray to You?
How long must I wait
Must I wait for You?
How long till I see Your face
See You shining through
I'm on my knees
Begging You to notice me
I'm on my kneesFather,
will You turn to me
One tear in the driving rain
One voice in a sea of pain
Could the maker of the stars
Hear the sound of my breaking heart
One life, that's all I am
Right now I can barely stand
If You're everything You say You are
Would You come close and hold my heart
I've been so afraid,
afraid to close my eyes
So much can slip away before I say goodbye
But if there's no other way
I'm done asking why
So many questions without answers
Your promises remainI can't see but
I'll take my chances
To hear you call my name
To hear you call my name

By Your Side - Tenth Avenue North

Why are you striving these days?
Why are you trying to earn grace?
Why are you crying?
Let me lift up your faceJust don't turn away
Why are you looking for love?
Why are you still searching?
As if I'm not enough?
To where will you go child
Tell me where will you run?
To where will you run?
I'll be by your side
wherever you fall
In the dead of night
whenever you call
Please don't fight
these hands that are holding you
My hands are holding you
Look at these hands at my side
They swallowed the grave on that night
When I drank the world's sin
So I could carry you in
And give you life
Here at my side
wherever you fall
In the dead of night
whenever you call
Please don't fight these hands that are holding you
My hands are holding you
And I, I love you
And I want you to knowThat
I, I'll love you
I'll never let you go