I Think I'll Just Turn Eight This Sunday Instead Of Twenty Eight

I don't wanna grow up!

I don't wanna grow up!

I DON'T WANNA GROW UP!

That's it! I'm all done growing up. I wanna turn eight and have a big princess party and invite all my girlfriends and have a sleepover and dance to New Kids on The Block with my baby doll, Dylan Michael. I don't wanna pay bills, or deal with adult issues or be in charge. I don't wanna clean or cook or organize anymore. I wanna be free and play outside until I'm all sweaty and it's dark. I don't wanna care about new tires on the car or packing for our trip. I don't wanna be the strong one for my brother. I want my daddy to love me and want to spend time with me. I want to be oblivious to my daddy choosing his wife and their kids over me. I want my healthy Grammy to show up at daddy's house with a gift in hand and some hugs and kisses.

I simply do not want to be a grown up. It is not as awesome as I once thought it would be. There are too many tough decisions and things to do. So when you wish me a happy birthday on Sunday you will only have to say:
HAPPY 8TH BIRTHDAY !
I will only need 8 candles and it willl be a carefree day.

I sometimes wonder what it would be like to have a daddy:(

I have a dad and he has been in the same place since I was three years old. He has been with the same woman since I was three years old. I was always a daddy's girl growing up, most likely because I was limited in the amount of time I could spend with him (and probably just to tick my mom off even more).  I loved being alone with my daddy since it was hard to come by and he seemed to enjoy our little trips to the store and such alone. I guess I always thought we would be close and he would always want to be a part of my life.

When I was 14 I moved in with my dad and by the time I was 16 he had kicked me out (this story is a whole post on its own). We really didn't talk or make up until I was 18 so it affected our relationship and that bond was gone. He has always put his new wife and her kids first. I should have seen it early on that he would only be a person that WAS in my life:(

Now that I have a son and I am married I don't really need a daddy but I want one. He barely showed up to my reception and had to leave early, it was like he didn't care that I got married. He never came to the hospital to see his grandson after he was born, in fact the first and only time he has seen him was when Micah was like 2 months old and that was just by chance because I went to the hospital to see my sister through her surgery.

I was my son to know his family and I want a daddy that cares for me. I guess I can want and want until I am blue in the face and he will still choose that woman and her children over me.  

It is sad that the only grandpa Micah knows is someone that is not even remotely related to him. This man cares so much for Micah he can't wait to take him fishing and hang out with him.

I guess the one good thing that comes out of it is that I don't have to worry about my son being around someone that chain smokes. In fact he is not around smokers at all.

Micah is growing:)

Micah Cree was born on May 12th of this year and boy does he look different than he does here. This is one of the first pictures of him actually dressed after he was born. Of course we have many of him covered in slime and goo but this seemed much more appropriate.

One month old here. Micah has learned to look at us and turn his head to sounds. He is staying awake more often yet still needs lots of sleep.

Two months old and just keeps growing. He is learning to hold his head up and respond to us with giggles and smiles.

Three months old and starting to sit up more oftern. He loves to sit in his bumbe and watch cartoons on the screen and he is holding up his head so well. Soon enough he won't need the bumbe to sit unassisted.

He is not quite 4 months yet so here is a picture from September 1st. He is very talkative and wants attention constantly. He can hold his head up well, lay on his tummy and keep his head up for a long time, smile, giggle, reach for things and actually hold things well and he loves to eat cereal when I give it to him. Micah is growing up so fast. He is already as big as his 11 month old cousin so I'm curious just how big he is going to get. Of course daddy is 6'3 so I'm sure Micah will tower over me soon enough.

I love this little guy with all my heart and I couldn't imagine my life without him. He puts a smile on my face everyday. He is coming into his own little character and I love seeing him blossom.