Struggle

I continue to struggle with being married and living a good distance from family. I continue to struggle with friends that are not there (is there something wrong with me? do i not know how to be a friend). I continue to struggle with working nights and working so many hours of my life away. I continue to struggle with keeping my house perfectly clean and organized. I continue to struggle with accepting my husband for who he is. I continue to struggle.

BUT....
As I read a little of Derek and Shea Poe's blog I realized I have it easy. They were married and ran off to South Africa almost immediately. They wanted to make a difference and help out the families there that had nothing. They are miles away from family and friends and a world that they were comfortable in. They can only talk on the phone or internet with their loved ones.

I would love to have the courage to go a world away and help out people in need. I would love to have the life of these two young adventure GOD loving people. I cannot even be an hour away from my sister and her kids.

My point here is that I want so much to be somewhere and someone else. But I am so very blessed to be where I am and have what I have. I have a great paying job, a wonderful family, shoes on my feet (a few pairs ), clothes on my back (a closet full), groceries in the kitchen, and a walmart a few blocks away if I run out (AND MONEY TO BUY THE FOOD ), we both ahve a vehicle to drive where we wanna go, I have an abundance of kisses and hugs when I see the babies, a hubby to snuggle with, a church that wants to feed me, and a GOD that loves me more than I coule ever dream of.

I AM BLESSED.

now if only i could remind myself of this every day and stop with the crying and sadness