I had a small mental breakdown today. I think everything going on just caught up with me and I lost it. I was just getting ready for work and I started to cry. No I started to ball and it went on for about an hour. And then continued in the car on the way to work .
I am exhausted. I am tired and feeling a bit overwhelmed. I mean since I have been pregnant I havent had time to stop and enjoy this pregnancy. I wanna enjoy my baby boy and get his room all ready without stress. So much has been going on.
We had to make two fast trips to Iowa for Shawn's grandma. The first was our one weekend off that we had planned to do baby stuff. I mean I am very happy we went, because she that was the last time we would see her alive even if she was just comotose. But that was going to be the relax and plan baby weekend. Then she died on Valentine's Day and we had to make a day trip there on Thursday to bury her. It was a very long day, but once again I am so glad we were able to go. Grandma Schnepf was a very special woman and man did she love her Jesus. I am so glad to know that she is with Jesus everyday now and she will be a great guardian angel to Micah.
I think we have just been going like the engizer bunny since the last week in Jan and I am due for a small break. No more deaths or family situations pls. No more mean people and drama mixed with problems PLS. I want a break .
I am in need of some dedicated baby planning and baby talking time. I want to get Micah's room finished and buy the stuff we still need. I want it to be about me and Micah now. I want someone to focus on me. I want to not hear about or worry about anyone else but Micah for a while. I want life to slow down and please , pretty please, give me a small break.
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