NOPE!!!

I was thinking everything has happened and now it will get easier and things will go my way.

NOPE!!!

My truck broke down on the way to school today. WE are supposed to go to the big baby sale and buy a ton of stuff but now we will be spending that money on my truck.

NOPE!!

Things arent going my way. Can I throw a huge tantrum now and hold my breath until I am given my way?

NOPE!!!

Guess what I am an adult and have to face tough situations and make the best of my world. O well.

At least micah is moving a ton lately and letting me know he is there . I mean it really, last night he would not go to sleep. I mean cmon get comfortable and let momma get a good nights rest. But really I love to feel him move, it lets me know he is still there and still alive.

30 Weeks and Counting

I think things are getting better. I had a few mental breakdowns last weekend and ended up missing a day of work because of it all. I think that everything just hit me at once and I kinda shut down. But I am better now.

I miss grandma Schnepf a ton. I know she was only Shawn's gma, but she was going to be the best great grandma to Micah and I loved , really LOVED, visiting her when we went to Iowa. She was the sweetest person ever. I loved to hear her stories about her life and learning all about her raising her 7 children. She was an amazing woman and man did she love the LORD with all her heart. I feel like I see angels everywhere now. Angels were kinda her thing. I know Micah will be watched carefully by his new guardian angel and that makes it all better.

I still worry about my little brother. I want to take away all of his problems and make everything better. I hate the position he is in. I hate having to only talk to him on the phone. I cry when I see his picture or hear that address go out over the air at work. I cant stand where he is and I want it all to go away.

I have had a rough pregnancy and Im still trudging through it. I failed the one hour glucose test and barely passed the three hour test. Doc says here is still glucose in my urine and now I have some protein in there too. I need to take it easy and watch what goes into my mouth. Apparently everything I eat has tons of sugar in it. :(

So Shawn and I are just trying to get through the next ten weeks so we can finally meet our little guy. I am not real anxious about getting everything anymore, I know things will fall into place and making a list helped a lot.

Word for the day: FAIL!

I had a small mental breakdown today. I think everything going on just caught up with me and I lost it. I was just getting ready for work and I started to cry. No I started to ball and it went on for about an hour. And then continued in the car on the way to work .

I am exhausted. I am tired and feeling a bit overwhelmed. I mean since I have been pregnant I havent had time to stop and enjoy this pregnancy. I wanna enjoy my baby boy and get his room all ready without stress. So much has been going on.

We had to make two fast trips to Iowa for Shawn's grandma. The first was our one weekend off that we had planned to do baby stuff. I mean I am very happy we went, because she that was the last time we would see her alive even if she was just comotose. But that was going to be the relax and plan baby weekend. Then she died on Valentine's Day and we had to make a day trip there on Thursday to bury her. It was a very long day, but once again I am so glad we were able to go. Grandma Schnepf was a very special woman and man did she love her Jesus. I am so glad to know that she is with Jesus everyday now and she will be a great guardian angel to Micah.

I think we have just been going like the engizer bunny since the last week in Jan and I am due for a small break. No more deaths or family situations pls. No more mean people and drama mixed with problems PLS. I want a break .

I am in need of some dedicated baby planning and baby talking time. I want to get Micah's room finished and buy the stuff we still need. I want it to be about me and Micah now. I want someone to focus on me. I want to not hear about or worry about anyone else but Micah for a while. I want life to slow down and please , pretty please, give me a small break.

This Has Been A Tough Pregnancy

Here is a list of all the issues that we have been through since we found out we were pregnant. Im am ready for a break. PRETTY PLEASE!!

-My hubby and I were fighting really bad when we found out we were pregnant.

-His mother started being really mean to me for no reason and tried to make him divorce me. That is still going on with us having no contact with her.

-I had two miscarry scares.

-My little brother had his baby and she was hospitalized for a while due to complications.

-The other two brothers found some major drama and trouble and we are still working through those issues.

-Mom went into the hospital for a week and now she has some medical problems that worry me.

-Miguel, the cat, died of cancer. He was Shawn's buddy for 13 years.

-Shawn's grandmother died after spending 2 weeks in the hospital in a comatose state.

-I failed the one hour glucose test and had to take the three hour one. We are still waiting on the results.

This is all just since we found out we were pregnant, this is not including all things we have been through since we have been married. UGH. I think these things are making us stronger but man would I love for things to get easier.

I hope and pray our delivery goes as planned and we end up with a healthy happy baby boy. I want so bad to be this cute little family that stays together forever and ever.

ITS A BOY!!!!!!!!!!!!

Wow I am having a boy. WOW!!! I still can't believe that I know what I am having. I am so excited and happy that I can finally call my baby by name.

The gender party went great. A lot of people showed up and it was great to be surrounded by loved ones. It was a little crowded in my small house but people just sat close and never complained.

My little neice seemed a little upset that it was a boy. She said "NO GIRL". I thought that was so cute. I know they want a little girl to play dress up with and do all the pincess stuff with but they will be able to play with Micah too.

Oh ya. His name is Micah Cree Bullock. I am hoping he stays in there for as long as possible so that I can get this last semester of school finished. We will see.

Now on to buy all the little things I will need with a baby boy.

25 Weeks

Well I am just running through this pregnancy. I really thought it would go so much slower, but I guess through the stress of everything going on I am just not paying attention anymore.

Mom made it home finally, she is on a truckload full of medication and I need to get up to see her so that I can go over everything with her and get a medication list for medical personel.

Little brother is still in need of prayers, although I finally got to talk to him the other day and he sounded good. I miss him. I never thought I would actually say that.

Hubby and I had a date night last night, we went to our church for a marriage class (which we loved) and then out to eat at Zios. It was nice to go to the class, I met some other SAHM and found a group at the church for mommies. I cant wait to get to know some more ladies in this area.

In just over a week I will finally know the gender of my baby. I am so excited and cannot wait to go shopping. I will post as soon as I find out.

Im 6 Months!!!

I am finally 6 months along. I am so excited. I cannot wait to find out what I am having at the end of this month. I am so excited. In May I will have my little one in my arms and holding him/her tight. I am praying everything goes well and the baby is healthy.

I had a dream that I had a buy by c section at 26 weeks and he was 10 pounds with a head full of dark hair. I must have cried a lot in my dream bcuz I woke up sobbing. It was a wierd dream.

My mom is still in the hospital trying to get rid of her pneumonia and now she has diabetes and an irregular heartbeat. I am praying that she gets out soon and that she will be okay. I will have to make sure she stays on top of all her meds now.

My little brother is still going through his struggles and needs lots of prayer. I wish he didn't have to go through anything and I want so bad to make all things better for him. But this is all on him and he needs to find a way out. UGH!!!

So I am going to try to focus on my baby and my health and keep this little guy in there as long as possible. I am shooting for going over and delivering later than the 6th so that I can maybe finish up my semester. We will see.